Single Mom Out Loud

The joys (and desperation) of raising a boy without a man

2017- A Restrospect 

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Today I took my son’s  favorite Christmas toy to the park. His happiness was palpable. 

He actually said “mommy this was the best Christmas ever! I got so many cool toys but I was naughty some days. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so many” and I told him that what matters is that he was nice most of the days and that nobody is perfect 100% of the time. He then replied “I love my gifts! but my favorite thing is that you are not going to work (I am off Till the 2nd) and we are playing Every day! That’s my favorite about this Christmas!”

Every child loves toys. But they love affection and attention way more. That helicopter would have meant nothing to him if I wasn’t there playing it with him and cheering him on. 

I know a lot of feminists these days are anti children. I have felt the discrimination more than once. Having a child is a choice. I made my choice and I don’t regret it. And it doesn’t make me any less of a feminist. In fact I think it makes me an even stronger one. I like to think of my son as my progressive contribution to the world. And to be honest if I had the means financially I would have at least 3 more. God knows the deplorables are doing their part in overpowering the good people in this country. 

And let me tell you that these little beings are the most innocent beings alive. They are filled with love and they see the world with so much purity it hurts because deep inside you know one day their pure soul will get crushed by this shitty world of ours. 

Children are the future. They are ones capable of changing this country, and our world for the best. And there is nothing, I repeat, there is NOTHING more fulfilling than raising our country’s future. 
But this “fulfilling” feelings comes with a huge price tag. And you work and you work and it never seems enough. 

Most of you know that I work a shit ton to support kaio which means he is at pre school from 7am Till 6pm every day. It means the poor kid has to be up at 5:30 every day. It means We don’t get much time together. It also means I don’t get much time for myself outside of work and motherhood. 

It’s hard. Because unless you are very privileged, life is hard period. 

But 2017 was more than just your regular hard. This year broke me. It whooped my ass both financially and emotionally. It matured me. It humbled me. It fuxking exhausted me. But it also made me smarter and wiser. It showed me snakes and Shitty people are everywhere. Friends is just a title and family is more than blood and both means nothing if the love and loyalty is not there. 

2017 taught me to be a better parent regardless of others think of me. It taught me to fight fiercely for my son. It taught me to have more patience with both Kaio and myself. And it was also extremely exciting because I got to travel to the beautiful state of Alaska and ended up going on a solo trip to Singapore, Indonesia and Thailand.   

So basically 2017 was the best and worst of my entire life. Hoping for a calmer 2018. 

May y’all look at my son’s smile and remind yourselves that the future is still bright and pure. Let’s not fuck it up. You have kids in your life? Either your own, or nieces and nephews? BE KIND TO THEIR SOUL. it’s easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. If you want a the next decades being governed by kind and SANE people, Handle them ALL with care. We don’t want them turning into Paul Ryan’s and Donald Trumps. 


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Author: Brisa Pinho

Brazilian. Piscean. Project manager. Raising a boy in a man's world... without a man.

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