Single Mom Out Loud

The joys (and desperation) of raising a boy without a man

On Hard Days: A Reminder 

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There will always be days like these. Always. Ones that make you feel like switching off the sun, crawling underneath your skin and forgetting about this whole catastrophic cantankerous world.
Today is too much. Yesterday was more than enough. Tomorrow you just don’t want to know.
You feel broken.
Your cells feel fractured in millions of places, each one dangerously free-falling out of control, slamming hard against the wretched cold, hard floor. Your body is pulled down with them and gravity’s force menacingly keeps you in place.
Everything feels to be against you. All of nature’s elements lean in to watch while you struggle to breathe as the excruciating emotions clog up in your chest.
Sometimes it feels easier to give up and to stay under the covers, rather than stepping over the weighted moments that torment us before they pass.
But, believe me, it isn’t easier and the longer you stay this way the harder it gets to blow the dense clouds that have gathered around you out of harms way.
Although you may have received a few cracks, you are definitely not broken. And I know the world can be dark at times, but there is far more light if you are willing to open your eyes and let it in.
You might have entangled with ones who snubbed you or foolishly mistook your vulnerability for weakness, but they aren’t dragging you down. You are doing it to yourself. Stop. You are more than that loss and that rejection. You are more than your grief or your insecurities or your fear of being abandoned again. 
So do not let whatever has happened so far define you, as every new encounter is a catalyst. Instead, let it catapult you ahead so that you may be carried with the waves and the wind.
You will always rise up wiser and stronger no matter how weakened you feel at the time.  
Parts of your journey may be irreparable, but you are resilient and although you may sway and bend, you will never break.
Even when people do things that hurt every fiber of your being, and you bruise and ache due to the excruciating avalanches of ice-cold loneless that freeze you to the bone, as soon as your passion for life rages inside again, you will quickly thaw out.
Existing on this planet can be harsh at times. You may stumble and falter but you must keep going. You might even fall apart but each shattered piece knows where it belongs and will find its way back. 
You’ve barricaded yourself in so that no one sees how damaged that delicate but fiercely pounding heart of yours is and you’ve hidden that contagious curve in your smile for far too long.

You’ve forgotten your unique multidimensional significance.
That’s okay. You needed some space and time. 
I’m just here to remind you to feel everything deeply. Feel it all, let it run over you. Scream if you want to and let it all out, but don’t ever be afraid of love. The stirring in your soul is necessary. Allow it to move through you and out so it touches everything that exists, regardless of proximity.
Find some thread, stitch up your wounds with colorful thread and create a beautiful tapestry all over your skin. Piece yourself together like a beloved and patchwork blanket and watch how the battle scars that adorned your mind miraculously heal.

“There is a crack in everything.That’s how the light gets in.” ~ Leonard Cohen

You are not broken. You are breaking through.

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Author: Brisa Pinho

Brazilian. Piscean. Project manager. Raising a boy in a man's world... without a man.

2 thoughts on “On Hard Days: A Reminder 

  1. Hello fellow Piscean. Uplifting post and something that made me feel better and more hopeful. Thank you.

    Like

  2. This is amazing. I have no words, because I fucking suck at express myself but one day I hope I will be as good at it as you are. I admire every text of yours. so much.

    Like

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